Tamra Mathias-Audition for SOU-Theatre Arts Program

This was my audition to get into the SOU Theatre Arts program.  I had several monologues I was considering but finally settled on these because they were the right length and when I prayed about them got an affirmative answer. We had to keep it under three minutes.  We reserved a room at the library, after hours so that I wouldn't bother anyone with my loudness and singing.  Watching it now, I would change some of my choices but that is because I am always trying to be better.

Doing it all in one take was important to me, but not required. I could have submitted video from past performances but I wanted them to see me as I am now. I stalked the site for weeks to see if they had watched it and meticulously kept track of which of my friends watched it.  I can be obsessive like that.  It was painful waiting but was worth it!

Theatre Thursday-Ashland- Cusp of Destiny

As per my mom's request I am going to attempt to either write some concluding posts or start blogging again, we'll see. I don't have a good track record on blogging. A lot has happened!!! First and foremost, I am no longer technically "homeless"!!! Can I get a huzzah?  In July, the hubs and I with the kids, moved to Ashland, OR home of the Oregon Shakespeare Festival.  We are living in a Mobile Home Park but it is the best one in town and we are in a 3 bed 2 bath double-wide with a den, washer, dryer and dishwasher!!! We also have our own lawn area and we are in an amazing school district. I am within walking distance of SOU, several great parks and the best grocery store in town.  I was accepted into the Theatre Arts Program at SOU and will start in the fall, totally just gave away the ending of this post. I have an audition to get into the BFA program in September, right before school starts.

So, that is the short version but the best parts are in the details, so I am going to re-post a note I wrote on facebook and then as I have time do some more posts that should catch you up to everything going on past, present, and future.

As some of you know, or maybe all of you know, I have been waiting to hear if I got into the Theatre Program at Southern Oregon University (SOU).  I have already been accepted into SOU and I had to submit an audition along with essays, reference letters, etc. for the actual Theatre Department.  This weekend, A3 and I headed down to Ashland to check out the campus during their preview weekend and to check out the first preview show of the season at the Oregon Shakespeare Festival (OSF). This is going to be long but stick with me as I catch you up on the events leading to this past weekend and what actually transpired.

I have waited for years for it to be the right time and place for me to get a BFA in Acting.  I gave up the theatre years ago because I knew it was what God wanted me to do. It was a gut wrenching decision but I knew it was right.  Several years later, A3 and I felt that I needed to go back to college to get a degree.  When we studied out the options of which degree to get, theatre kept coming up in the oddest ways.  I was pissed.  I was mad at God for making me give it all up just to taunt me with it now.  I felt taunted by the Oregon Shakespeare Festival that was only three hours away and we had no money to spare.  By this point, we were living in the 5th wheel RV and wanting to get into stable careers so we could get out of this place and help ensure that we wouldn't be placed in the same situation ever again.

Then something amazing happened.  My good friend, Heidi Harris,  happened to have free tickets to the Oregon Shakespeare Festival and even a free hotel for A3 and me to stay at. So, we headed down there and saw Hamlet which also happens to be the first Shakespeare play that I performed years and years earlier in a professional setting.  We also went to one of our church's temples and finally I accepted that the Lord wanted me to go back to school and get a BFA in acting. I was terrified.

So, I went to Southwestern Community College to work on my transfer degree while A3 got his AS in Nursing. Their theatre program closed right before I started. So, I took all the required undergraduate classes and took voice lessons and vocal jazz. I also studied out the acting programs around Oregon and eventually learned that SOU is the only university that OSF accepts acting interns from.  That made SOU my only choice at that point. 

The last two years, the SOU Theatre Department has just happen to have made some staffing changes. First, they brought in Jackie Apodaca. You can read about her amazingness here: http://www.sou.edu/theater/apodaca.html

Then, they brought in David R. Humphrey, Ph.D as the new Director of the Performing Arts department.  His bio is here: http://www.sou.edu/theater/humphrey.html

The coup de grace that sealed me to my fate was James Donlon being brought in as well. It turns out he was Jackie Apodaca's favorite teacher. His bio is here: http://www.sou.edu/theater/donlon.html

His website is here: http://www.flyingactorstudio.com/flyingactorstudio/James_History.html

Sorry if you have to copy and paste but it will be  worth it to read about them but especially James Donlon, if you don't know who he happens to be.

That brings me to this past weekend.  We got into town late Thursday night. As we drove into town we both had a sense that something big was about to happen.  Not necessarily in a good way either.  It was equal parts terrifying and thrilling at the same time. It felt like that moment where you are upside down on a loop of a roller-coaster and feel like you are going to throw up.  I slept fitfully that night and woke up at 4:30 a.m. and then 5:30 a.m. and then at 6:30 a.m. until I finally gave up and messed around on my phone until A3 woke up. We stayed at a motel that was right across from SOU and after we ate our complimentary continental breakfast we wandered over to SOU to check it out before all the festivities began.  We walked around like we knew where we were going and may have went a few places that we maybe didn't have permission to go.  We came across their amazing library.

The library has a whole wing dedicated to the study of Shakespeare. They had some books I have only read about in other books!! To me, that section felt like walking into a temple.  The library is also three stories high and has art all over the place.  As you walk through the library, it is fairly dim and as you choose an aisle to enter the lights slowly fade up giving the books an even more reverent feel as they are lit up waiting for you to discover their secrets.  

Not far from the library is the Theatre Arts building.  As we approached it, I froze in my tracks like a deer stuck in headlights. I was literally terrified and had all the classic symptoms of fight or flight.  A3 walked right inside while I stayed out.  I eventually went inside through another door where I didn't see any people except A3 who had scouted it out.  I wandered around a bit and saw that they were about to have their first technical rehearsal for their shows that open next week.  So, instead of asking for a tour, I had to high tail it out of there.  I really felt nauseous and overwhelmed.  We left the campus after that and went to get lunch and shop in downtown Ashland.  I eventually got a headache and felt ashamed that I was such a coward.  

The thing is, I had no idea if they had gone over the auditions yet or applications for the Department and I didn't want to face anyone there.

So, on the way back to the motel, I decided to face my fears and called the Theatre Department and asked if I could get a tour.  The Administrative Assistant arranged it for us and asked if we could get there in a half hour.  I said yes and even though I still had a headache, we went.  I now bravely walked through the doors and we were introduced to a current student there named Ryan. He is graduating this Spring and has been accepted into Yale's graduate program for Technical Direction.  He showed us around the theatre and brought us over to the underbelly of the Music building where they now do the Movement classes that James Donlon teaches.  In that room just happened to be a student rehearsing.  She also happened to be a transfer student and provided us with valuable information.  During our tour we saw James Donlon walking by and I totally geeked out.  We also saw Jackie Apodaca as she was leaving her office with her son, I believe.  I didn't speak to either of them but was excited to see them. I felt much better after that and felt I had my dignity back in place. After that we checked in at SOU and were given dinner passes for their cafeteria. The food was amazing and we got there right before the crush of would-be freshmen and their parents swarmed the halls.

Later that evening, we attended The Taming of the Shrew at OSF.  We were hesitant about seeing it due the way women are usually depicted.  The show was brilliantly done, Petruchio and Kate were evenly matched, you could see the sparks of love, it was full to the brim with laughter with just the right amount of heartfelt moments.  I also spotted David Ivers, the director in the audience, who also happens to be a co-artistic director of the Utah Shakespearean Festival.  Afterwards, we "just happened" to walk by him and I was able to tell him myself that it was indeed brilliantly done.  We left OSF with grins on our faces.

So, Saturday comes along bright and early again for me.  We grabbed some snacks to go from the hotel and checked in again at SOU.  We were greeted with an amazing buffet of breakfast consisting of all the regular fare such as eggs, bacon, bagels but also a baked oatmeal with sweet potatoes that was actually really good. For bagel toppings, they also had smoked salmon and capers. We stuffed ourselves and also enjoyed some great pastries as well.  Afterwards, they had us congregate at the Music building where we were presented with a performance by a brass quintet followed by greetings from all the higher ups and a Q&A with a student panel. Next, we headed back to where we had breakfast and they had booths set up with all the various departments and clubs.

The Theatre Arts area was crowded, so I bided my time until it was less busy.  To my delight, James Donlon was there.  I introduced myself and admitted that I was geeking out meeting him.  He asked why and I told him I was a fan.  He asked from where and I told him that I was old and knew his work. He said I wasn't that old.   I told him I had done mask work before (He had some displayed). He asked where and I told him about the Southwest Shakespeare Conservatory.  He then asked if I knew Jared Sakren, they apparently are good buddies.  I told him I did and that I had done a show with him. He asked which one. I told him Hamlet on Trial and he told me he had heard about that show!!!!!!!!!  I was thrilled. Later, I introduced myself to the head of the Performing Arts department and made a good connection there as well.  While I was off looking at something else, A3 snuck back over to James Donlon and asked him a bunch of questions and I found out later that he basically told Ammon that I didn't have anything to worry about and that I had something along the lines of distinct/strong/good energy. A3 can't remember the word he used specifically.  We also found out they have not gone over the applications yet.

The coolest part of the day was next. We got to pick a lecture to attend by one of their professors and lucky me, James Donlon was teaching one of them.  So I got to spend and hour and a half with a Master teacher.  Of course, I was also with a bunch of high schoolers but in this case I think my age/experience was an advantage. We did various movement activities and got to do some mask work.  The best thing he said was that "Actors are athletes of the heart."  He also noted that in order to be a good athlete of the heart, the actor must be an athlete of the body. Guess who needs to step up her exercise routine? Me! Ugh, I was feeling my age but was energized at the same time.  A3 also got some great blackmail video of me during the class, but I saw it and I wasn't nearly as bad as I thought movement wise.

We had an Asian inspired lunch that was better than restaurant quality, again, the vegetarian dishes were amazing. Then we headed over to the family housing where we had been told there would be a tour.  There was not.  We were discouraged but headed back to the main campus to inquire about it.  They told us they don't normally do tours there, and we told them it was on the paperwork, website and someone the day before assured us there would be a tour.  So, they jumped on the phone and arranged a tour.  The family housing wasn't super fabulous but bigger than what we have now.  We also noticed that the family housing is not only close to the college but also close to the high school and junior high.  

In the end, it was an incredible trip.  A couple nights ago I wrote in my status update about standing at the cusp of destiny.  I still feel that way but I am no longer terrified. Too many things "just happened."  I know I am where God wants me and too many things have occurred to open up the way for me to get where he needs me, and for that, I am grateful and awed.

Theatre Thursday- OSF Spring 2012-Seagull

Last weekend was my 12th wedding anniversary. My dear hubs took me down to the Oregon Shakespeare Festival. We only had time for one play but are planning to return in the summer and fall to see more.  We saw Seagull by Anton Chekhov adapted by Libby Appel and translated by Allison Horsley. Libby Appel was the Artistic Director for OSF before Bill Rauch took over.

Appel loves Chekhov as much as I love Shakespeare, which is quite a lot.  So, it was with great care and understanding that she adapted and directed this play.  The results are glorious and surprising with few bumps at the performance we attended.

Seagull is a lesson in subtext. Something that all good actors understand.  The effectiveness of the actors in this play hinges upon their ability to portray the underlying emotions of their characters. Thus, the performances that were the most memorable were those who were the characters even when they were not speaking.

Kate Hurster is my new favorite stage actress. She has it. She is Masha.  I can now add that role to the list of roles I would like to play. Even when she is not speaking she is telling Masha's story brilliantly. The longing she feels for Konstantin is palpable. Konstantin was played by Tasso Feldman another wonderful actor who I hope sticks around at OSF for a long while.  I felt that Hurster and Feldman ran away with the show, too bad their characters never were able to run away together. Perhaps it was their stories that appealed to me the most and thus they stood out to me.   It is one of those shows that I wish I could watch it over and over because you would see something new each time.

The brilliance of Chekhov, like Shakespeare, is that he has the ability to effectively portray a variety of characters from all walks of life.   Chekhov seems to do it in far fewer words than Shakespeare.
The audience sees themselves in certain characters depending on their life experiences. Thus, mine and my hubby's differing opinions of our favorite characters.

Seagull at OSF shows how Chekhov was meant to be done.

A fun side note: as I was reading through the program and artist bios, I read that one of the actresses Lisa Wolpe who played Polina has worked at Southwest Shakespeare Company. So, that made me smile. Also, some of the minor characters were played by interns from Southern Oregon University and Jonathan Dyrud is a graduate from SOU and is working on getting his equity card. Those facts made me excited about my possibilities in the future!

Mommy Monday-Hugs

Can I just say that one of the best things about being a mother is an endless supply of hugs and surprising compliments? I love it when my kids come up to me just because they want a hug.  Even my oldest still likes getting hugs from his mom. I hope they never lose their desire to come up to me and give me a hug whenever they or I need it.

As for the compliments, A2 cracked me up when she recently said in her little four year old voice, "Your eyes look like they have cracks of glass in them. You are so pretty, mommy."  She gives the best compliments. She cracked me up!

Cracks of glass? Okay!

Friends on Friday-Ash

So, time has suddenly gotten away from me and here it is May and I haven't blogged in quite a bit.  In my defense, things have been crazy busy.  I have been rocking the grades so far. My hubby has started his preceptor-ship at the hospital.  The kids are in swimming and baseball.  Fun. Crazy. Good.  Our 12th anniversary is tomorrow and we are celebrating with a mini-weekend getaway! But, on to the interview.

I did this interview way back in February!  I am so bad.  I am, however, super blessed to have Ash in my life.  She is a source of pure joy and badassery.  Our four year old daughters were born on the exact same day and we have known each other since before they were born. All the pictures in this blog are courtesy of Ashlynn imagery, Ash's photography business. Check out her blog: http://www.ashlynnimagery.com/

The girl

N:Could you tell me a bit about yourself?

A:I am just a girl. A girl with a not so secret obsession with chocolate. A girl who has seen and experienced what life can throw at you. A girl who has two little girls who shine the light into every crevice of my heart and being. I'm a just girl who is in love with a boy. My little girls are quite fond of this boy too he is quite an awesome daddy! I am also a proud daddy's girl. If it wasn't for my daddy I would not be where I am today in any way shape or form! There is a lot that can be said of this girl but the qualities I hold dear of myself are my humor... life is entirely way too short to live in anger, I love to laugh. Love, there is no life without love. Honesty, this is what you can be sure to always get from me whether you are my friend or I just met you. I'm also exceedingly loyal and faithful to the end. I'm just an all around your next door neighbor Canadian girl... I love bacon, chocolate and really loud music to dance too!

The boy

N:What are you passionate about?

A: I am most definitely passionate about family. Family is the number one most important element in my life. Family isn't just blood to me it's about choosing to be there no matter what thick or thin. My family are the ones I put my most effort and love into. I am also a photographer, I have been creative my whole life, drawing, painting, sculpting and now I have my camera as my medium and I am in love! Nothing gives me greater pleasure than catching a moment and making it a piece of art for all to admire and be invited into share the moment of the subject. I'm also an avid reader, I love books and having images painted in my head playing out some twisted plot!

Rylie

N:What was a defining moment in your life? 

A: I have quite a few of these so it's hard to just pick one. A defining moment when I was a teenager was when my father showed me the adoption papers. Nothing sweeter than knowing he chose to be my dad (love you dad! ). A defining moment in my early 20s is when I first became pregnant it challenged everything about myself and my fears. Being a mom is the single most greatest accomplishment I will have in my life. My most recent moment is stumbling into photography. It makes me feel whole and constantly challenges myself. My moments have led me here it was definitely quite the journey, but I am happy with the direction I'm 

headed.

Danielle

N:You are just so amazingly comfortable in your own skin and I admire that about you. You seem happy, pretty much all the time. Is there anything that pisses you off?

A: LOL @ happy all the time. I wish I was happy all the time. Nope, things can greatly annoy me. I have short patience for the obviously stupid things people (including myself ) can do that could have been solved with some thinking... or if life just throws me another twist out of no where. My kids now say "really" because of me. Every time someone or something happens that just irks me I go " Really!??! Seriously ? " haha.

N: Why did you decide to get tattoos and what/where are they?

A: I got tattoos for a few reasons. One, I really love art and I like having what I love on my body forever it's just for me and it's only mine. I also like being constantly reminded it's not fair to judge a book by it's cover that a lot of things really are just skin deep there's so much more beyond. I have a full sleeve tattoo on my left arm. It is a whole piece with a tree,orchids, coy fish, water and I have a crying geisha on the inside of my arm. To me it represents my life, the fish/flowers are times in my life the water is time constantly flowing through. The crying geisha represents emotions that have come with my life and the tree/orchids represent my father ( the tree ) and my sisters the orchids my family. I also have a tribal tattoo on my lower back with my birth month jewel in the center and Rylie's name on the back of my neck. I will be getting Danielle's name tattooed on me as well. And one for my grandmother.

N: What is your favorite joke or the funniest thing to ever happen to you? 

A: Being born. LOL! I could not pin point just one thing, I have a tendency of finding most things greatly amusing.

N: What is your favorite kind of chocolate?

A: hmm right now I'm loving the Cadbury mini eggs.. it's like crack to me haha.

N: Thank you so much for being patient with me.  Thank you for giving me the courage to just be myself and enjoy everyday. I am so glad we are friends.  You remind me that everyday can be fun and new adventures are just waiting to happen, we just have to give them a little nudge once in a while and bloom where we are planted. 

2012 Ashlynn Imagery by Ash

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Mommy Monday- TEENAGER!

It has finally happened. I have become the mother of a teenager. Where did the time go?

J1's birthday is to day and we celebrated this morning with birthday waffles.  He had his favorite meal of orange chicken and pork fried rice.  He chose a sophisticated turtle chocolate torte for his birthday cake.  We sang. He opened his gift and is now glued to the television playing a game on an actual school night. He is happy as a clam.

Poor J2 ended up getting sick after his birthday doughnut last Friday. I got a call right before my Chemistry class that he had gotten sick so I came home.  I ended up cleaning puke most of the day.  Later that night, J1 got sick at his scout camp out so I drove out and picked him up.  Then around midnight I got sick!  It was not fun.

We got a new cake for J2 and sang to him a day late even though I wasn't fully feeling well. He had fun and today we also gave him a belated gift.

All is well. What more could a mom ask?

Theatre Thursday- I'm singing!

I am taking voice lessons in an effort to improve my voice and work on breath support. I apparently have a knack for picking songs that are really hard to sing. I am currently working on Maybe This Time from Cabaret and Unexpected Song from Song and Dance.  Unexpectedly, Unexpected Song is easier for me and I felt like it was the one song that if I could sing it, I could sing anything I wanted. I was so naive.

Good news is I can hit a high G and even all the way up to a high B flat on a good day and I can sing as low as a man. My range has been surprising. My issues it turns out are mostly psychological.  I am not used to hearing myself sing high and when I know a higher note is coming, I have a bad habit of psyching myself out.

We went through Maybe This Time and made some conscious acting choices and it helped but I have found that I am out of shape acting wise, because it has been so long. I am enjoying it but I had taken for granted how hard it can actually be to perform.  Add on top of that, singing correctly while giving a meaningful and believable performance and I was intimidated. It did however help my singing and I sounded better than ever, until I got to the section where  I knew the notes were high.

The crazy thing is that Unexpected Song has even higher notes than Maybe This Time, but I don't have any problem hitting them.  My issues in that song are breathing in all the correct places.

So, I have learned I have issues.  My voice instructor joked that maybe I need a counselor and not voice lessons. My voice is amazing according to him. I just need to believe in myself.  So, I am going to work on believing in myself, but I could sure use some outside encouragement.

Of course, I realize that I really just need to accept that I am amazing. Not just that I will be awesome in the future, which I will, but that I am pretty special right now.  Why must it be so hard for me to believe that I am of worth?  I need some self esteem lessons.

I'm not perfect and I never will be, but what I am right now is enough for right now. Onwards and upwards!