Friends on Friday - Nicole

Nicole is a strong woman of faith.  She thinks she is boring but I just think she is fun.  She is devoted to her husband and her children.  She is crafty and just plain cool.  I think that is part of why some of us like to call her Coolio.  Any how, I'm just grateful she is my friend.

So, tell me about yourself:


C:  I'm a stay-at-home mom to two crazy kids, and wife to an amazing husband. Joe and I have been married for 6 years. G is 3 1/2 and is the quintessential princess and girlie-girl. A is 22 months and is all boy. Rough and tumble should be his middle names :)

 

N: What are you passionate about?

C: My passions include making our home a safe and comforting environment for all who enter, reading, praying, listening to sermons, finding new adventures for our family and baking.

N: What do you like to bake?

C: I love to bake cookies, bread, biscotti, caramel rolls. Anything really :)

 

N: What is your favorite recipe?

C: Probably my pumpkin bread with chocolate chips.

N: I'll take some of that, please.  Have you ever had any cooking disasters?

C: When I was about 16, my mom and I tried making these decorative Easter eggs by dipping small inflated balloons into melted almond bark. Well, the balloons kept popping and spraying the bark everywhere. We finally gave up, but the entire kitchen, ceiling, counters, as well as the two of us, were covered in splatters of almond bark. We still laugh about it today!

N: I think I've seen something like that on Pinterest. I'll have to stay away from that. It is great that you can laugh about it now.  Family seems to create some of the funnest memories. What is some of your favorite family adventures?

C: We love to play outside in the summer, take walks to the park, have picnics, or just have tickle fights in the living room.

N: I think those are some of the best adventures.  What is one of your favorite memories of your children?

C: One day, I was washing dishes and A fell and bonked his head. G went up to him, gave him a huge hug, kissed his forehead and said, "It's okay, buddy. I'll always take care of you." Melts my heart just thinking about it!

N: That is so sweet. Aww. You mentioned you like reading. What is your favorite book?

C: Honestly, the Bible. I love the relevance it has, even for us today, the promises, comfort and peace it brings. 

N: Amen, to that.  I know that you just adore your husband.  What do you think makes him such an amazing husband?

C: He's humble, honest and hard-working. He cares for our family in so many ways, from working his butt off to provide for us financially, to playing with the kids, to making me leave for some time away. He's constantly striving to become a better man, husband and father. He's funny, smart and Godly. He's truly the biggest blessing in my life, and he makes me a better person just for knowing him.

N: Wow, it sounds like he is truly worthy to be your husband. I think it is great that you have each other.  You both are wonderful parents. What do you enjoy most about being a mother?

C: There are so many things that make me smile about our kids, but I can say the thing I enjoy most is the fact that I'm the one at home raising them. I get to see their interactions with each other, see their eyes light up when they learn something new, instill our values and teach them about the Lord. I love that I know them better than anyone. I love that my kids are best friends, and I pray that continues long after they're raising their own families.

N: Thank you so much for letting me interview you. I think you are all the things that a child could wish for in a parent.  You are truly blessed to have such an amazing family and I am blessed to have you as my friend. Thank you for helping me remember that with God all things are possible and what a blessing it is to have mothers in this world.  You are an angel.

Mommy Monday- An Unexpected Surprise

My body trembled and shook as I breathed and moaned through the intense contraction. Sweat dripped off of my skin in droves as if I had been running a marathon. My husband was dashing around trying to get everything ready for the baby’s imminent arrival. 

It was a couple days until my due date and my midwife was running late. Where the heck was she! She knew that once the contractions became almost intolerable that the baby would be here quickly. I was angry. This was my fourth pregnancy, so we knew by experience that it would be time soon. I was trying very hard not to push. 

 A primitive sound escaped my mouth. Panic was trying to creep into my mind. The pain was unrelenting. Without warning I heard an internal pop and felt the baby’s head slip into the birth canal. I yelled for my husband. This baby was coming whether we were ready or not. I let my body take over and do what it was made to do. With a gush of water and no other fanfare, my youngest daughter was born. I gently cradled her in my arms and she looked up at me with her bright innocent eyes. In that moment, I was happy.

That amazing experience, along with many others, has shown me that happiness is often found in some of the most unusual circumstances. I have also discovered that I am best able to recognize happiness after feeling an emotion that is one of the polar opposites of happiness. For instance, despite the anger, pain, and intense non-happy feelings experienced during the labor and delivery of my fourth child; an incredible sense of peace, love and happiness was mine at the end of it all. 

 I find that happiness is found within ourselves regardless of where we are geographically located. My definition or idea of happiness best coincides with a Denis Waitley quote. He sums it up perfectly, “Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace and gratitude.”

Friends on Friday- Cathy

What to say about Cathy?  It is not that I don't have the words, it is just that there are so many words to describe her. She is unique.  She is one of those mothers who somehow manages to work full time but always have time for her daughters and her friends.  She is always planning fun things for them to do.  She has 392 pictures on her phone and not one of them is of her.  She is selfless, compassionate and loving to all whom she calls friend.  She also has been having some debilitating health problems lately but she powers through them everyday with a smile on her face and a joke at the ready for whomever needs her.  I adore Cathy and I am honored to have her as my friend...

One of the only single pictures of Cathy from work.

N: Tell me about yourself.

C: I am a 33 (until Saturday) mother of two. Happily unmarried with two cats and one dog.

Cathy with her two daughters, A1 and A2.

N: What are you most passionate about?

C: My kids and family

N: What was one of the defining moments in your life?

C:  Man, there have been so many. I would say the defining moment was losing my mom at age 17.

N: What is the funnest thing you have done with your kids?

C: We are always doing fun things. While we have done the Disney trip, rock climping, cave exploring and amusement parks, the most fun we have are the unplanned moments.Singing "The Lazy Song" while driving down the road at the top of our lungs with the windows down. Or just hanging out doing competitions on the Wii's Dance Revolution game. Picnics in the back yard, even when it is raining. Staring up at the clouds on a warm summer day. Picking strawberries and turning it into some yummy dessert. I would have to say the funnest thing I have done with my kids, is just being a kid myself.

N: I remember you telling me several kidisms that your youngest daughter has said. What is your favorite kidism that you have heard from her?


C: I have often said I should keep a book. The mind of a 3 year old, so innocent and unknowing yet thoughtful and kind.

The only thing I can think of right now is last night as I was tucking A2 in she told me not to kiss her on the mouth because her nose was running, instead I was to kiss her on her fourth head so I wouldnt get sick. I could not help but laugh.

N: I have heard you are a bit of a prankster, what is your most memorable prank?

C: My most memorable prank was not intended to be a prank. I made black bean brownies and told everyone not to eat to many because they were made with black beans. My SO decided I said that to keep everyone from eating them all and ate the whole pan. By 3 am he was in the fetal position on the bathroom floor. It looked like he was in labor.

N: That's funny. Now for something a bit serious. You don't have to answer if you don't want to. Do you think that losing your mom at an early age helped you become a better mom?

C: It helped and it hurt.

 

It helped me see time is short and you never know how much time you have left. So I tend to live each day as it could be my last. While I know I was very much loved growing up, I make sure I always tell my kids and loved ones I love them everyday. I make sure to cherish those special moments as you never know when or if they will come again.

But I grew up too fast and became a mom at 17 to my younger brothers. I have never finished college since I dropped out to raise and support them. I never really had a chance to grow up. I sometimes feel like I have the weight of the world on my shoulders with no one to turn to.  I feel it has made it harder to develop relationships with friends and/or romantic partners as I am always afraid of losing the one I love. It has also made me avoid conflict as the last conversation I had with my mom was an argument. I have never been able to let that go.  Even when that means sacraficing my own wants and needs.

N: I am glad you decided to be my friend.  Like I said before, you are one of the most selfless people I know. I'm curious and nosy, what made you decide to be "Happily unmarried"?

C:  I was married to my oldest daughters dad. The day we got married he turned into Dr Jekyl (or which ever one was the bad one). I do not know why. He was mentally abusive and unfaithful. I sank into a deep depression.

To me, I have made the commitment in my heart to love S. and for now he is fine with that. I am sure one day he will press the issue of getting married, and I will go through with it. But marriage scares me to death. We live together as husband and wife with out the benefits of being a married couple. But we love each other just as much as most married couples, if not more than some.

N: If you could actually know that your wish would come true when you blow out your candles on your birthday, what would you wish for?

C: My oldest daughter not to struggle. She is having a rough time with adolescence and was diagnosed Bipolar a couple years ago. I wish she could wake up cured. I wish she could see how wonderful of a person she is and how much she is loved. I wish she did not struggle with anxiety and depression. If it were possible I would take her disorder on my shoulders so she could grow up and happy preteen and worry about things preteen girls are suppose to worry about like boys and clothes and friends. But I do not see that happening, so instead I wish for the love and patience to help her through this time in her life so she can grow into the loving beautiful person I know she is.

N:  I wish I could grant that wish for you Cathy.  But, since I can't do that, I have asked several of your friends to write a little note, happy, funny, sentimental or whatever they wanted and needed to say about you for your birthday.  My wish for you is that you will know you are beloved of your friends and as you will see, we all think you are great. Happy Birthday, Cathy. May it be as wonderful as you are.

Cathy's friends:

Sarah: 

Cathy is the single most dedicated mom I know. Rain or shine, tired, whatever, she makes every minute count. And she has a wicked sense of humor, too.

Crystal A: 

Cathy is a great listener. :)

Ashley T: 

Cathy doesn't let life bog her down no matter how many lemons are tossed her way. She is awesome at tossing the lemons right back at life. She is an inspiration as a woman, mother and friend. LOVE YOU CATHY <3 Happy Birthday to the bestest Cathy in the whole wide world.

Jen R: 

Cathy has been a great support and true friend in my darkest hours. I appreciate her humor, her dedication to her girls and her strength inspires me.

Paige: 

Cathy always knows the right thing to say no matter what your problem is. She helps you solve your problem giving you a laugh along the way. She is an amazing mommy and friend!

Lela: 

Cathy has truly been there for me thru good times and bad. We've been on two great vacations together and even spent 14 hours crammed into my tiny car together. She is an amazingly strong woman, mother and friend. Love her to pieces!!

Nicole: 

Cathy is truly one of the most amazing women I know. She is generous, caring, creative, and is the strongest woman I've ever had the pleasure of calling 'friend.' Through the ups and downs of life, she's always there with an encouraging word and inspiration. Love that lady!

Nadine: 

Cathy has all the best qualities any mom and friend could have. She is funny when you need to laugh, compassionate when you need to cry, sensible in the midst of chaos, strong enough for those in need of strength, and loving enough to love in spite of imperfection. I'm grateful to call her my friend and to learn so many wonderful things by watching her live and share.

Crystal T: 

Cathy is a strong and wonderful Woman. I admire her for her kindness and her gentle heart. She is truly an amazing Mother who would do anything for her children. She is there for her friends when they need a hug or when they could use a good laugh.

Laura I:  

Awesome, Brave, Caring, Dependable, Empowered, Fabulous, Giving, Hopeful, Incredible, Joyful, Kooky, Loving, Magnificent, Nifty, Optimistic, Pensive, Quirky, Resilient, Selfless, Thoughtful, Ultimate, Veracious, Wonderful, X-cellent, Yummy, Zany. I heart Cathy! She is the best.

Libby: 

Cathy has a true and honest love for all living things, and I admire her strength and resilience. She inspires me to want to be a better person, even though she doesn't even realize how unique she really is. Plus, she's totally hot. :)

Molly: 

C-caring
A-awesome
T-thoughtful
H-half-full kind of gal
Y- youthful and fun

Cathy is number one!

Deedra:

Webster's dictionary defines empathy as the action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another of either the past or present without having the feelings, thoughts, and experience fully communicated in an objectively explicit manner. In the area for examples, there should be a listing for Cathy. She feels everything so deeply and truly understands her friends. It is a rare quality to find.

Nicky:

Cathy is a hilarious, amazing, caring, wonderful mother and person who I am proud to call a friend.

Irina:

Cathy is incredibly generous emotionally, physically, and mentally. She gives every last ounce of energy not only to her family and others that she loves, but anyone and everyone she comes across who needs it. I feel lucky to know someone so truly beautiful, selfless and kind.

Casie:

Cathy is the most selfless person I know. She is always the first to check on a friend in need and offer support. She is an amazing mother, who gives her all for her kids. She is kind, generous and beautiful inside and out. I am blessed to call her a friend.

Noe:  

Cathy, You are all these things and more.  Thanks for making me smile when I needed too and supporting me when I've cried.  I admire your strength, beauty and character. Happy Birthday.

If you would like to leave a birthday note for Cathy, please comment below this post.  

Mommy Monday- Happiness Amid Misery

Wow, I don't know what I was thinking, but trying to blog on a Monday has proved to be the most difficult.  Add to that blogging about being a mom and that just doubles the problem.  So, I think the next four weeks on Monday, I will post a story about one of my kids.  This is a paper I wrote in my first Writing class, two years ago involving J1:

Happiness Amid Misery

The walls were a cold, blank white.  The room was quiet except for the whir and occasional beep of a machine. The lights were dimmed for the comfort of the little inhabitants of this place. He was encased in a plastic box with a lid like a bread box.  Wires ran from all the essential parts of his body. A tiny hand clenched my finger, making me feel as if I were a giantess.  As I lifted him from his clear case that eerily resembled Snow White’s coffin, I felt a jolt pierce through my heart. How was it that such a small thing could elicit such a strong emotion from me?  My firstborn son snuggled into the crook of my arm and happiness was mine.

Across the room a loud burst of beeping machines heralded an emergency. Nurses bolted into the room, followed by frantic doctors.  A tiny life was slipping away.  Time seemed to slow down.  My heart thudded in my chest in agony for the little child and its parents.  The alarms seemed to speed up and the doctor’s movements quickened. Suddenly, there was silence. The air was thick with grief. Here in the NICU  misery and happiness were companions and distanced by mere feet.

Eric Wiener says, “’Misery serves a purpose’ says psychologist David Myers. He’s right. Misery alerts us to dangers. It’s what spurs our imagination” (323). Statements like that infuriate me. Specifically, the last part really gets my goat. Misery serves many purposes, the least important being my imagination.   Most of those who have experienced true misery rightfully avoid it like the plague. Some like Eric Wiener, witness misery and try to minimize it by claiming it as a sort of Muse.  I do agree that it does alert us to dangers, but more importantly it can help us recognize and appreciate happiness.  Have you ever noticed that those who have experienced tragedy and misery and ‘escaped’ are some of the wisest and dare I say happy people you’ve ever heard of or met? Mother Teresa, for one, comes to mind. Do I think you have to have misery to experience happiness? No. I do, however, feel that to really appreciate happiness and embrace it, you need to be able to have something to contrast it against.  I’m not saying that you should go and seek out opportunities to experience misery; life will provide its own without any help.

My trip to the NICU that day taught me many things about life, especially relating to misery and happiness. Firstly, that happiness and misery in life can be a literal heartbeat away.  I may have forgotten that moment of happiness with my son, if it had not been etched into my memory because of the tragic event of that day. Even though I did not know that infant or its family, I was able to witness the misery and then truly be grateful and happy for the moment I did have with my son. Secondly, I learned that a tiny, helpless newborn can instantly change your views on the world, but more importantly that all life is precious, no matter how short.  In turn, small moments of happiness, no matter how short are precious and should be acknowledged as such. For me, tallying up all the tiny moments of happiness in a day does wonders for my overall happiness and contentment with my life. I will always be grateful to the unnamed newborn that lost its life that day. That little baby taught me that each microsecond matters. So for me, that life, though cut short, helped me unlock the keys to happiness in my own life.

Today I am faced with the mortality of my firstborn son, once again.  He is now ten years old and has recently begun experiencing debilitating abdominal pain and has been rapidly losing weight. The most likely culprit seems to be something that could eventually kill him if left unchecked. Luckily, we have access to a great doctor and medical facility in Portland. Unfortunately, at this time, we do not have a definitive diagnosis. We will soon face another blank white room and hopefully discover what if anything we can do to cure him. Misery will be there again caused by the waiting and the agony over the unknown and things I cannot change. Surprisingly, at times like these, all the tiny moments of joy come flooding back: a hug here, a little kiss there.  Like a mini movie in my head I think about the times he met each of his siblings, the first time he scored a goal in a soccer game, each of his birthdays, the first time he learned to ride a bike and his unforgettable performance as Tom Turkey in second grade. All these moments, though lasting just a short time individually, have already added up to a lifetime of joy.  So, I know that happiness will be there too, because right now, I have a son who knows he is loved and that makes all the difference. 

Works Cited

Weiner, Eric (2009). The Geography of Bliss. New York: Twelve.

Update: J1 still has an unofficial diagnosis of IBD but is on medication. He does great as long as he remembers his medicine.  Those huge blue pills are a constant reminder of his and my own mortality. I hope to use this reminder to be courageous in how I live my life.  I hope you can find the courage to be happy in yours.

Friends on Friday- Kelly

Kelly is one of those friends, who seems to have it all.  She is pretty, smart, crafty, and has two beautiful little girls.  She is so crafty in fact, that she has a wonderful blog http://livingcraftilyeverafter.blogspot.com/.  Seriously, it is fabulous.  In my imaginary little world, I like to pretend that I got her hooked on her crafting, starting with bows.  Of course, her creations are a gazillion times better than mine, which I love! On to the interview...

Kelly with S1 modeling a headband I made.

N: Tell me about yourself. 

K:  Where do I start? I married my best friend 5 years ago and we both wanted to start our family right away. We discovered that we were not able to get pregnant on our own and started down the fetility specialist path. We were very lucky and after a few months of IVF I got pregnant and our daughter S1 was born in March of 2008. We were even luckier with our second and got pregnant the first month of IVF. Our second daughter S2 was born in August of 2010. I love those girls more than anything. The second they were born I forgot all the heartache and pain I went through trying to become a mom. They truly are my little miracles! 

Miracle girls.

Besides spoiling my children, I also love to hang out with friends. We are lucky and have a great group of friends who all have kids the same age as ours. When our 6 families get together we have 11 kids all 3 and under! It is chaos, but so much fun! We love to have backyard BBQs, go camping, spend time at the lake and we always say we have to go on a big Disney Cruise with all of them! I also love to exercise and recently ran my first Mud Run! And considering I hate dirt that was a major deal for me!!

Kelly at the Mud Run

N: What are you passionate about?

K: My kids. I know that is cliche but its the truth. I recently got laid off work and we are now doing everything we can so I can stay home with them for a year or so. They are only young once!

N: What was one of the defining moments of your life? 

K: Honestly, I think one of the most defining times in my life was the year long struggle to get pregnant. The months and months of trying only to be let down over and over again. It is the most heartwrenching experience. I can't even begin to explain the emotional wreck I became. I was angry at any pregnant lady I saw. I hated my friends when they "accidentally" got pregnant. I was a cold and bitter person. But I was also so sad it physically hurt. I was broken. And then we started IVF. I had to give myself daily injections of medicine, go to multiple doctors appointments a week, all the while not knowing if I would ever get pregnant. It is a struggle I would never wish on my worst enemy. But it made me stronger. It made me really work for what I wanted. I think I am a better mom because of it. I think my marriage is stronger because of it. I am a better woman because of it.

I love this picture because you can really see how much Kelly
just adores her daughters by the expression on her face.

N: What would you say to your daughter(s) if she/they also ended up having the same fertility issues that you have struggled with?

K: Don't give up. If its what you want, don't give up on your dream of becoming a mother because it is THE greatest thing in the world. It is worth all the heartache and struggle to become one. I would also do everything I could to help them reach that dream. The first time we went through IVF our insurance did not cover a single cent of it. And IVF is not cheap. We weren't in a place financially where we could pay the thousands of dollars it would have cost. Luckily my parents stepped in and offered to help us out. I will never forget when I started crying thanking my parents, my mom said to me "we would never deny you the opportunity to be parents." I would do the same for my children.

S1 with S2

N: How blessed you are to have such amazing parents. What advice could you give to those who are struggling to conceive?

K: Like I said to my children, Don't give up. I would let them know it is going to be tough. It is going to be an emotional roller coaster. It's ok to be bitter. It's ok to be angry. It's ok to be sad. It's ok. And I would let them know I am there for them. Infertility is something that unless you have been through it, you really cannot understand the emotions wrapped up with it.

N: Given that, what advice would you give to those with family or friends who are struggling to conceive?

K: Don't tell them "I understand". You don't. You CAN'T. And I swear the statement I hated the absolute most when we were going through this was "There is always adoption. There are tons of kids out there who need a loving home". That always killed me. Yes, I understand there are children out there who need homes, but I want MY child. It made me feel like I had no right being upset about not being able to get pregnant just because there were children out there who needed to be adopted. I would never tell someone struggling with infertility that.


N: What were you passionate about before starting your family and/or were you always passionate about becoming a mother eventually?

K: I always knew I wanted to be a mother. But I also used to be so passionate about sports. I played soccer my entire life. I loved it. I tried to join an adult league a few months ago but it fell through. I am still looking though. But for now I love playing soccer with Sam in the backyard. :) And hopefully if the girls like playing too, I will be able to coach their teams!

N: I know that you are very crafty. What project are you the most proud of?

K: Hmmm good question. I think this year I am most proud of the birthday parties I threw for the girls. I know they wont remember them, but I will always have the pictures! I hope when they get older they can see all the effort I put into the party so they would have a perfect day!

See more pictures here.

You have got to check out her blog on how to make
the cute party hat. 

N: One more fun one. You mentioned a Disney cruise before and I know that you recently returned from Disneyland, so, what is your favorite ride at Disneyland?

K: My favorite ride is Space Mountain. :)

Kelly's family at Disney

N: I truly believe you are a remarkable woman and mother, Kelly. I am inspired by your talent and determination. I am awed by your decision to take an incredibly difficult situation and let it turn you into the incredible and amazing mother that you are to your daughters. It has helped me remember that my children are wonderful little miracles. Thank you for being my friend and helping me remember how blessed I truly am to be a mother.

Friends on Friday- A2 - a day late

I have some interviews in the works but they just haven't been completed yet.  So, I sat down with A2 and a video camera to record her responses.  I took some of the questions from the Actor's Studio. She is so sweet and fun. I am lucky to be her mom.  Sorry this is a day late.

Mommy Monday

Too busy being a mom to blog about being a mom. :P
So here are some pictures of my cuties from our last trip to the beach before school started: