Friends on Friday- The Hunn

I met The Hunn at church.  She had flaming red hair and a wardrobe that proved she had personality to boot.

The Hunn

We really got to know each other well when I was the chorister for the children in our ward and she was our pianist. We would chat behind the piano while the lesson was being taught before or after singing time.  She is a kindred spirit and one of my all time best friends. She is wicked smart and always made me smile even when I didn't want to smile.  She did make me cry once, but that was because she surprised me by giving me free tickets to the Oregon Shakespeare Festival and a free overnight stay at a hotel.  It was because of her that I was able to go to OSF for the first time.  She also encouraged me in pursuing my degree and I will always be grateful that she helped give me the courage to try. So, here we go!


N: Can you tell me a bit about yourself?

H: Sure! Well, I grew up in the Air Force and so I moved around a lot. I think that's why I still really love exploring things, geography, and maps. I'm also always very concerned about figuring out exactly where I am and where I'm going (literally and metaphorically) because of my transient childhood. I get really frustrated if I feel lost in a city, but also if I feel like I'm not working towards a big goal. Always wanting to keep moving--that's me. (Unless it's jogging. I hate jogging...)


I met my husband, Paul, when we were both working at the library in college. We worked together for three years and didn't go on our first date till two months before graduation. We both had been accepted into PhD programs on opposite sides of the country, though, so we we broke up after a month of dating thinking that things just wouldn't work out.

Aaaaaaaand, we got married two and a half years after that. Turns out that we just never could forget about each other.

Aren't they adorable!

We lived in Oregon for three years after I moved away from Boston and now we're living in Germany! We moved here for Paul's post-doc in biology and I'm teaching English at the local university here while I'm finishing a master's degree in GIS (computer-based cartography...think a fancy version of Google Earth). See? I love maps!

We've really been taking advantage of how inexpensive it is to fly places within Europe (15 dollars for a flight to Rome!) and in the four months we've been here, we've spent weekends in Istanbul, Prague, and London. I'm trying to learn German, but it's incredibly hard! I hope I can at least understand what the cashiers are saying to me at the grocery store by the end of two years.

N: What are you passionate about?

H: I'm really passionate about women's rights and feminist theology, actually. It was the main focus of my PhD dissertation prospectus--I wanted to examine the ways Mormonism (the faith I grew up in) and feminism complemented and contradicted each other.

After two years of coursework, I realized that studying that topic was getting too emotionally difficult for me to handle. At school I felt like I was being too critical of the culture I grew up in. But, at church, I felt like greater truths and rights I felt very strongly about were belittled or actively silenced. Living split all the time really took its toll on me professionally and personally. So, I officially withdrew from my program's emphasis so that I could be more free to express my true feelings in both my publications and my work within the historical department of the LDS church (not to mention just my daily interactions with friends and family!).

So, blah blah, I feel like I'm blabbering. I'm sorry!

I'm very passionate about making sure all women feel that there is a powerful female deity with authority in the universe. I feel that women should be truly respected as whole and complex human beings in their personal, professional, and spiritual lives--never made to feel "under" or "less than" any other person simply because of their sex. I feel that women should be represented more in scripture and over and behind the pulpit. Only then will both men and women really be able to work together and serve together in a religious community with the greatest strength.

This is a strong and amazing woman
and her triumphal return to London

I believe that women should be given the power, self-assurance, and individuality in their spiritual communities that we all already know they have inherently! And this should be available in every aspect in their lives, not just at church. Though, in my particular studies and writing, I've just focused on theology because I saw how integrated gender roles and doctrine were in my childhood religion and how religious gender theology has shaped subtle and not-so-subtle hierarchies between gender for millenia.

N: I am not surprised that you were able to help give me self-assurance, now that I know all that! One of the many reasons I so value your friendship is because you have made me feel valued as a woman and that it is okay for me to want to be considered an equal among men. You made me realize that it was not only okay to be intelligent but necessary.

What was a defining moment in your life?

H: Wow! Let me think about this. This is a good question!

I think I'd have to say that it was the day I realized that I loved Paul. We had been just writing letters to each other for about six months while we were in grad school--nothing romantic, just asking each other how things were going. 

One early morning (March 5th, 2007--I even remember) I woke up, sat straight up in bed (which is weird for me, I'm really bad at waking up), and said, out loud, alone in my room,

"I love Paul and I am going to marry him."

And I was so surprised! I had no idea where that came from! It was like it wasn't even me talking, but someone else talking through me.

Right after I said it I just felt so relaxed and peaceful and happy. I jumped out of bed and did a little jig on the floor and thought, "That's totally the right thing to do. That is what is going to happen. We could get married tomorrow and I wouldn't be scared or worried at all."

And a year and a half later, we got married. 

I've never had anything like that happen to me before or since.

Yay, marriage!

N: That is an amazing story of you two. There is nothing like knowing you are with the person that you are meant to be with. Now on to some fun stuff.

You have been doing lots of traveling since you have moved to Germany. 

What is the funnest experience you have had so far and what is the most amazing thing you have eaten?

H: Oh man! We've seen and done so many amazing things so far, but for a FUN experience, I'd have to say that taking a Turkish Bath was pretty hilarious and awesome. Had to let go of a lot of inhibitions on that one, since a large part of it was completely undressing and getting a rough scrub-down by an equally nude female attendant. But, it was great because I realized that I shouldn't have to feel embarrassed about my body, you know? And it was actually really fun to just hang out in that steam room and get a bubble bath in a bath house that was built in the 1700s. That was in Istanbul--which just was a really mind-blowing place all together.

Outside the Turkish 'bate'

And for eating, I think the food we ate in Prague was the best so far (and really inexpensive) and I still have dreams about the apple strudel there (yah-ble-ko-vee zah-vin) and some roasted wild boar.

Then, of course, there were the spicy sheep intestine sandwiches in Turkey--not so bad, actually!

Sheep intestines!

N: Surprising about the sheep intestine sandwiches. I loved your blog post about the Turkish bath. Where else are you planning on visiting?

H: Well, we made a list and a really strict monthly budget when we first got here so we've planned out quite a few places already (traveling is the reason we moved here so we're not going to let it pass us by!). Our goal was to try to visit a different country each month (4-5 day trip) and so far we've been pretty good about that.

We aren't going anywhere in February though, because we're taking a double-length trip (10 day) in March to ITALY! WOO! (it was our #2 place we wanted to go). We're also trying to save enough money to take an 8-day trip to Scotland in the Fall or Summer (our #1 place). 

Otherwise, we're trying to plan shorter, long-weekend trips (the 4-5 day trips) for the other months of the year to Paris, Spain, Southern France, Denmark, maybe Poland, Vienna, Switzerland, Budapest, the coast of Turkey, and maybe one of the Scandinavian countries. I'd really like to see Finland because I'm working on a project about it at work right now, but it is one of the most expensive countries in Europe so we'll see...

We're getting really good at traveling for 5 days with just one small backpack and really being on-a-shoestring budget travelers so if anyone wants some tips about how to travel in Europe inexpensively, please feel free to ask me any questions!!

N: You are just fabulous. I'm 5th generation Scottish, so Scotland is high up on my list too. My number one is currently London because I want to go to the Globe and see a show there. Of course one of my dreams is to perform there. Thanks for taking a picture of it for me.

Paul at The Globe! 

In closing, I was wondering if you would like to share some of your favorite web sites or articles that in your opinion empower women?

H: Oh man! That's hard! It's just hard because I think that since everyone is a totally individual person, each person finds their individual power from a million different places--so it would be hard for me to try and think of one source that would give strength to *all* women in the world...but hm...let me see...

I think that for anyone who is or grew up LDS (Mormon) that the websites feministmormonhousewives.org or the-exponent.com have a really good selection of articles about the experience of the ups and downs of being a woman and a feminist in the church. I have a great deal of respect for most of the authors--many of whom I knew personally in graduate school or met at theology conferences and they are all really generous, kind, passionate people. But I also know that some people could find some articles on these sights a little frightening or vaguely threatening at first, so I guess I'm sorry about that if that might make some uncomfortable--that's not the intention.

I think any website or organization that encourages free agency for everyone--men and women--in their life choices is positive, especially those that help people gain a really well-rounded education about gender, society, and how they interrelate. I have trouble thinking of websites about these things in particular though! I'm sorry! I can think of a few books, however.

For example, there's the recent book "Delusions of Gender" by Dr. Cordelia Fine is really solid and a good intro to the whole issue. 

I also thought "Marriage: A History" by Stephanie Coontz was incredibly interesting! Especially showing how the whole "ideal" marriage has changed over the centuries and why--this, of course, is very integral to both the study of femininity and masculinity.

I haven't read this next book, but I think it would be interesting to any readers out there who might be parents of daughters. I've heard a lot of good things about the author too: "Schoolgirls: Young Women, Self-Esteem, and the Confidence Gap" by Peggy Orenstein.

N: Thank you, so much Heidi! Those are all wonderful and you know how I love a good book. Everyone needs a friend like you. I absolutely adore and love you! I miss you so much. Thank you for being a great friend, role model and awesome human being.

One of my favorite pictures, of an amazing couple
made up of two incredible people.