Welcome!

This is the no nonsense blog about my life. I am currently living in a mobile home park in Ashland, OR with my hubs and four kids. Check out the About me tab for more details. I am fairly new to this blog stuff, so be nice. Some days I post some I don't. My life is busy so I do my best. I love comments and would love for you to follow along.
Showing posts with label writing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label writing. Show all posts

Friday, November 18, 2011

Friends on Friday- Alicia

Alicia is beautiful on the inside and out, it almost makes you want to hate her. She is actually impossible to hate. She is so sweet, talented, and just an overall good woman. I am honestly jealous of her because she has a BA in Theatre Arts already.  But she is just so darn likable and lovable. She and I are both artists, actresses, wives, and mothers but she has the added bonus of being some other great things that you will find out below. We are determined to meet in Ashland one day, but it hasn't happened yet.  So, for now I will just harass her by interview.
A beautiful woman and a little boy who adores his mama.

N: Could you tell me about yourself?

A: This is always the hardest question for me to answer because there are so many factors that make up who I am. I earned my BA in Theatre Arts from San Jose State University in 1999. Twelve hours after graduating, I hopped on a plan to do ranch work in Colorado for a couple years and then returned to California where I worked as a barn manager and educator for the Humane Society of Silicon Valley before returning to SJSU earn my teaching credential. In 2005, I earned my MA in Education Administration/Supervision from CSU Chico and married B, my soul mate. We have two boys – W (3 ½) and C (1 ½) – and they are my world. 
The family

I am an artist, actress, rancher, wife, teacher, and mother. I have a hard time finding time for each part of myself – so for now I am focusing on being the best wife, mother, and teacher possible. As my boys grow up, I would really like to get back into acting and someday start an educational ranch.

N: What are you passionate about?

A: I don’t know if this will make much sense, but I am passionate about the creative process – be it art, poetry, acting, or teaching. I absolutely love to create and explore. I am not good at following paths that have been set for me…I need to create my own. I get a rush out of making new things – websites, lessons, stories, etc.
I had to throw in one silly picture because she jokingly told me not to.
Here she is as Concita in Last Cha Cha for the Bahama Mama

I also love inspiring others to help make a difference in helping Earth. I believe that every little action makes a difference and that everything and everyone is connected. I filmed a documentary in Yosemite National Park in the 90s and hope to someday bring it all together with current footage and interviews.

N: What was a defining moment in your life?

May 30, 1999 – hours after graduating from college, I hopped on a plan to Colorado where I had never been before. Several of my friends were moving to Los Angeles to make it in the movies or they were staying in the San Francisco theatres (I managed a show at the time in SF), but I decided to leave and pursue my passion for horses and ranch work as the Kids’ Wrangler at Elk Mountain Ranch in Buena Vista, Colorado. I cannot fully explain what happened, but I made a decision for the benefit of my future family. I wanted to begin a life that I could share with others. Acting in and managing shows every weekend and doing late night radio work did not lend itself to having a family…so I left that life behind. 

The following year, I met Brandon and as life has turned out, I know that it was the best decision I have ever made. Do I ever wonder how things would have turned out had I gone to L.A. or stayed in SF? Absolutely! Do I long for the spotlight…the stage…the rush of acting? Definitely! But looking at my boys and hearing them laugh as they ride our horses reminds my why I hopped on that plane so many years ago. And I know someday I will return to my first love!
Here she is with her soul mate.
(Her bouquet is full of my favorite kind of roses, she has good taste)

N: Wow, you are amazing. Excuse me for being naive but what is an educational ranch?

A: I don't know about amazing, but thank you.

You are not naive - my concept for an educational ranch is not very well known, and I don't know if there is a ranch out there already doing what I hope to someday do. I would like to take the idea of a guest ranch/dude ranch and expand it to include an educational component. Part of the year, it would be open for traditional family vacations and the other part of the year it would be reserved as an outdoor school. Classes could visit for a day up to a week to experience ranch life and all of its connections to science, writing, art, math, history, etc. It would essentially be a hands on educational facility.


N: Would you mind sharing some of your poetry or a short story?

A: Oh, gosh, it is hard for me to open up and share my writing because it is usually so personal...but here goes...

Here is a little poem that I wrote just over two years ago, in memory of a dear friend (and my mentor) who passed away on 11-11-09. It isn't earth shattering, but it was a healing poem for me...words often help me heal:

Some sights cannot fully be captured in a picture…
…the brilliant orange hue of a glowing full moon
…a herd of deer grazing peacefully in a misty meadow
…the calm of a glorious lake after Winter’s first storm

Some emotions cannot fully be captured in words…
…the never ending impact a teacher has on a child
…the pain of watching a friend lose her battle with cancer
…the love one person can feel for another

These moments cannot be captured…
…they must be lived
…they must be honored
…they must be remembered

Through art and writing, Nancy taught me to open my eyes and take in the world for all of its beauty. She taught me to believe - in others and in myself. I am eternally grateful for her presence in my life over the past 20 years. Her memory will be honored and remembered.

And another one that I found - it is actually a song that I wrote for another friend, Tom, who passed away in December of 2005.

Dancing With Angels

Your time came too quickly,
I never even said goodbye;
Not that I would have anyway,
I never believed you would die.

I hope you're dancing with angels,
and they hold you close in their arms;
I hope you're dancing with angels,
and I hope they sing you this song.

About hard times and how you got through them,
About freedom and finding your way;
About always being true to yourself,
No matter what people may say.

I hope you're dancing with angels,
And they hold you close in their arms;
I hope you're dancing with angels,
And I hope they sing you this song.

About good times and laughter and romance,
About friendships that never will fade;
How someday we'll all be together again,
And I'll tell you what I meant to say.

I hope you're dancing with angels,
And they hold you close in their arms;
I hope you're dancing with angels,
And I hope they sing you this song...
...Oh, someday I'll sing you this song.

I really do write about things other than death...but I am an emotional writer and for some reason these were the two that I could easily find/remember quickly. I do have a book of several songs that I have written over the years. Someday I will find the courage to share them with others. I am actually learning to play guitar right now so that I can put music to my lyrics...it will be quite some time though before that happens. I am not a natural. lol.

N: Those were wonderful, thank you for sharing them. I appreciate it. What is your favorite thing about being a mother?

A: Absolutely, positively everything. I never would have expected that having kids would be such a powerful experience, but it is - and I enjoy each moment. I love hearing the laughs and giggles and watching my boys explore and try new things. I love the hugs and the silly stories and the constant questions. I love watching my boys ride their horse and make messes with paints. I just love watching them grow. Life is such a miracle and my crazy, adorable boys are the best.

Alicia with her boys and one of their horses.
In an odd sort of way - I even enjoy the tough moments like sleepless nights. When times are rough, I remind myself that they will only be young once and that the fact that they are alive and breathing in the middle of a long night is a miracle to be thankful for. (W's lungs collapsed at birth so I think I value every breath more than some, and a dear friend's 2 year old just survived cancer/5 months of chemo. I truly value each day with my boys for the gift that it is.) I just love being a mom and knowing that I get to share my life with my husband, watching (and helping) two boys grow up. I like to say that my job in life has become to raise two future Mr. (W)Rights.

Thank you...from the bottom of my heart... for sharing your personal stories through your blog, for interviewing friends, and for inspiring me.
Family is the best.

N:  Alicia, I am honored to be YOUR friend.  Thank you for sharing your poetry. It was beautiful as are you. Thank you for encouraging me to follow my dreams and not making me feel silly for pursuing them.  I am grateful that you are in my life and I look forward to being your friend for the rest of our lives.  I think your idea of an educational ranch is inspiring and I am in awe of your talents as a mother.  I look forward to seeing you succeed in your endeavors. Thank you for reminding me that our choices are what defines us, so we must always choose the good and that choosing our families is always the best choice. What can I say except, I adore you.

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Whatever Wednesday- Sleuthing Shakespeare

Given the recent release of a certain Anonymous movie,  I thought I would post the research paper that I wrote about the authorship of Shakespeare earlier this year for my Writing 123 class. Fair warning, this is a long paper, but I am proud of my work. I have not seen the movie. My work is copyrighted.


Sleuthing Shakespeare 

In 1990, a music band named Milli Vanilli won a Grammy award. Later, it was discovered that the two leads did not actually sing on the winning album. A controversy ensued and the Grammy was taken back.  A huge backlash occurred in the music community with these two purported artists and neither man successfully worked in the music industry again (Huey 1). Another type of artistic controversy, almost five hundred years in the making, is brewing. The fallout from this dispute, if proven true, could rock the artistic community to its core. Many unique and well known individuals, such as a renowned psychologist, a Supreme Court Justice, an acclaimed actor, a noted poet, and a classical American author have all expressed opinions in this unsettled subject.   What Sigmund Freud, John Paul Stevens, Derek Jacobi, Walt Whitman, and Mark Twain have all stated is their doubt of the authorship of William Shakespeare (Shahan). It appears that “the greatest playwright not of his age alone but of all time” may not have even written a single letter of his plays (Greenblatt 11).  If he didn’t write the 37 plays, 154 sonnets, and two narrative poems, then who did?  Many theories abound. The luminaries mentioned above all have a favorite candidate for who the ‘real’ Shakespeare could have been.
Admittedly, the doubts surrounding William Shakespeare of Stratford upon Avon as a writer exist because all the evidence for him as an author is circumstantial.  The proof that he was a writer came about after his death.  It was Shakespeare’s closest associates who put his eloquent work in one place to be published for the entire world. This corroboration, called the First Folio, helps the case for Shakespeare and demonstrates that many of his contemporaries did not question his ability or authorship.  There are no contemporaries in Shakespeare’s time who attempted to claim anyone else as the author. There is other evidence supporting Shakespeare as well.
   For those who insist Shakespeare was the author, there exists concrete evidence that he was a real person and not simply a ghost name. In Professor S. Schoenbaum’s book, Shakespeare’s Lives, historic records prove that Shakespeare was an actor, playwright and shareholder for The Globe, the theater company in which he worked (16).  Also, documents exist that list him and Richard Burbage[1] “as tenants of The Globe[2]” (17). His very existence does seem to discredit the other theory.  Why would a purported genius use a living person’s name for a pen name?  The answer is unclear and can only be speculated.
Despite these speculations, there are many archives that prove William Shakespeare of Stratford upon Avon was a living entity of the sixteenth century. The first record of Shakespeare is found in the parish registers of Holy Trinity which show his baptism was the 26th of April in 1564 and his parents were John Shakespeare and Mary Arden (Schoenbaum 7). There is also evidence of William’s marriage and his death in 1616.  One issue against Shakespeare is that his father, John Shakespeare, cites his occupation as a glover, in other words, a glove maker (In Search of Shakespeare).
That William Shakespeare started out as a country bumpkin and son of a glover, seems to cause two reactions.  He is either cheered for rising from the bottom or his is leered at because he was a son of a glove maker. It appears that many of those who doubt Shakespeare dwell on his lack of social position.  People seem to judge Shakespeare based on his proletariat status at birth, instead of what he was purported to become: a genius.
This genius is the influence for many institutions here in the United States. For example, Ashland, Oregon is home to one of the most revered repertory theatre companies in America. The Oregon Shakespeare Festival has performed Shakespeare’s complete canon[3] three times since 1935 (osfashland.org).  Besides Ashland, there are other festivals and theaters dedicated to Shakespeare throughout the United States. Some of America’s most acclaimed are Shakespeare in Central Park in New York City, The Colorado Shakespeare Festival, Utah Shakespeare Festival, and The Shakespeare Theater in Washington, D.C., the nation’s capital.
Also, in Washington D.C. is The Folger Shakespeare Library “home to the world’s largest and finest collection of Shakespeare materials” (Beckman). Included in some of these materials are the writings of such notable authors as Harold Bloom, C.S. Lewis, and Northrop Frye.  Another book in this collection is by Isaac Asimov, an acclaimed scientist. He wrote Asimov’s Guide to Shakespeare in which he states, “William Shakespeare, [is] a man who is certainly the supreme writer through all the history of English literature and who, in the opinion of many, is the greatest writer who ever lived-in any language” (xi). He continues, “Shakespeare has said so many things supremely well that we are forever finding ourselves thinking in his terms” (xi). Shakespeare is an important part of American society, as evidenced by all these institutions.
Since Shakespeare’s works are ubiquitous in the literary world, it is not surprising that people are curious about his life. This exploring of his past leads to where the controversy begins.  Professor George McMichael from Riverside State College and Professor Edgar M. Allen from Chico State College declare that, “The controversy over who was Shakespeare exists because many people have felt that the works themselves indicate one kind of individual -a genius- whereas the facts actually known about William Shakespeare of Stratford upon Avon suggest someone entirely different” (1).  The biggest problem with this speculation is why the question of authorship was brought up in the first place.  It has been assumed, due to many eighteenth century[4] ideas, that all fiction is autobiographical (Shapiro 263).  Looking for the author within the work seems to be a modern phenomenon and not one to which the authors or audiences of the sixteenth century subscribed. 
In the twenty first century, many still look for the author within the work. Unfortunately, this makes it is difficult for William Shakespeare, the son of a glove maker, to be seen as a genius. The three men most suggested to supersede him have seemingly better pedigrees for genius than the man from Stratford. Francis Bacon at one point was the Lord Chancellor of England. Christopher Marlowe was a playwright who attended Cambridge before he started his career.  Edward de Vere was the 17th Earl of Oxford. Although, William Shakespeare of Stratford upon Avon has the most claims upon the works attributed to him, Francis Bacon, Christopher Marlowe, and Edward de Vere are the most popular candidates for being the author of the oeuvre.
Kermit the Frog wants to know if Francis Bacon wrote William Shakespeare.  On episode seven of The Muppet Show, Kermit the Frog is seen getting increasingly agitated as he tried to wrangle Florence Henderson and some of the Muppets into answering, “Was William Shakespeare, in fact, Bacon?”(The Muppet Show). Kermit is not alone in his musings.  Indeed, there are many who think that Sir Francis Bacon was the ghostwriter of William Shakespeare. 
In 1857, Delia Bacon[5] published her book, The Philosophy of the Plays of Shakespeare Unfolded which “popularized the authorship controversy as nothing before had” (McMichael 63).  Delia Bacon believed that Shakespeare was not educated enough to write the plays and also thought that “the personality of the author” shined through, especially in The Tempest and concluded that Prospero “was much like that of the serene, learned, bookish Francis Bacon” (Shapiro 109).  Later this esteemed lady literally tried to dig up evidence from Shakespeare’s grave in Stratford upon Avon, but only made it as far as the graveyard. It is speculated that she was frightened off by supposed ghosts but evidence does prove that she did not shovel a speck of dirt (110).  However, it appears she had become so obsessed with this topic that she tried to prove her authorship theory in order to prove her own academic worth  and later “drift[ed] into insanity” (110;88). Delia Bacon also alluded to a cipher[6] establishing that Bacon was Shakespeare but she never produced it (99).
Interestingly though, a cipher shows up in a writing called Bacon is Shake-speare by Sir Edwin Durning-Lawrence. He says that “Love’s Labour’s Lost [sic]” was the first play that had the name “W. Shakespeare” attached to it and that Francis Bacon had another work issued at the same time in which he hid a message, so he could claim authorship later (91).  He states that the longest word in all the plays, “honorificabilitudinitatibus,” which is found in Love’s Labor’s Lost, is revealed to hide a “correct Latin hexameter” that when translated states that, “These plays F. Bacon’s offspring are preserved for the world” (97).   Sir Edwin does not end there; in a later scene of the same play he uses the cipher on the First Folio edition. Using Latin again, it states in answer to a question, “Ba corn-u fool” to “indicate Bacon’s name” (104).  Furthermore, other supposed ciphers were put forth by at least three other well educated men: William Stone Booth, Ignatius Donnelly, and Orville Ward Owen (Shapiro117-123).
            Alternately, the ciphered evidence was shown to be inconsistent and others were able to make or find ciphers that said whatever they wanted them to say; even claiming that Francis Bacon was not the author of Shakespeare’s work.  In relation to that extremely extended word, it was not first introduced in Love’s Labor’s Lost, but existed at least a hundred years earlier.  In The Shakespearean Ciphers Examined, by William F. Friedman and Elizebeth[sic] S. Friedman they surmise, “It could scarcely be claimed that a writer some hundred years or so before either Bacon or Shakespeare was born invented the word specifically to conceal messages” (106). Surprisingly, they also note that Sir Durning-Lawrence admitted that from such a large word anyone can “obtain very numerous words and phrases” (107).
            With evidence such as ciphers, it is no surprise that the next candidate as author is Christopher Marlowe. He was an ultimate espionage agent and the only known playwright in the bunch.  His credentials: aristocrat, law expert, went to Cambridge, and a known spy for the English Government. As such, he allegedly had much inspiration to draw upon.  Additionally, Marlowe wrote Dr. Faustus and The Jew of Malt indicating he was indeed a playwright.
Marlovians[7] point out that Marlowe’s writings have similarities to Shakespeare’s. Marlowe’s poem Hero and Lyander is comparable to Shakespeare’s Venus and Adonis (Schoenbaum 447). This appears to indicate that Marlowe could have rewritten his poem and republished it under a different name. Likewise, another poem found after Marlowe’s death titled Gorgon may be a reference to Athena who ‘shakes a spear’ making it seemingly apparent that Marlowe equals Shakespeare (Barber 89).  
 However, while some see similarities, Marlowe’s plays and themes are actually decidedly different from those of Shakespeare and are not as reverenced as the canon. “Criticism of Christianity, for example, appears in all biographical documents as the most absorbing interest of his [Marlowe’s] life” (McMichael 115).  This is evident in every single play that Marlowe claims by his own name, but does not appear in all the plays Shakespeare wrote. 
            The ultimate problem lies in the fact that Christopher Marlowe is said to have been “killed with a dagger thrust in 1593” (Niederkorn 3). The testimony of many witnesses would need to be questioned if one wanted to believe that Marlowe was Shakespeare because at least three men witnessed his death and three others his burial (In search of Shakespeare).  However, this does not deter Marlovians who faithfully believe his death was faked and that Marlowe “escaped to Italy and sent plays back, with Shakespeare as his agent” (Niederkorn 4).  The Murder of the Man Who Was Shakespeare by Calvin Hoffman, an American Theatre press agent instigated a “real surge of interest in Marlowe as Shakespeare” (McMichael 102). Hoffman’s book used Marlowe’s murder as a catalyst that set his research in motion. He claims that Christopher Marlowe did not die in 1593, and thus Marlowe was able to use Shakespeare as a pen name for many years.  Hoffman presents thirty pages of in depth parallels between Marlowe and Shakespeare (Niederkorn 4).   
            Another person with parallels with Shakespeare is Edward de Vere, the 17th Earl of Oxford. As an Earl and member of the bourgeois, he is automatically credited with more than enough background and as an authority on many subjects.  J. Thomas Looney was the first to suggest officially that de Vere was the author of Shakespeare. Here is a man, he proposes, who had “classical education, sympathy for the House of Lancaster in the War of the Roses, Roman Catholic leanings, aristocratic point of view, literary tastes, a love-hate attitude toward women, knowledge of Italy, and interest in drama, music, and sports” (Niederkorn 2). These are all things that the real Shakespeare had to have known about and were evident in Shakespeare’s work. 
In the introduction of “Shakespeare” By Another Name, Mark Anderson points out that Edward De Vere had many real life instances that coincided with incidents in Shakespeare’s plays.  Anderson states that Oxford had life experiences similar to at least fourteen of the 37 plays; this number is arrived at by comparing characters in these plays to people in Oxford’s life. However, Anderson admits later that four of his examples actually show that Queen Elizabeth was the inspiration and not de Vere (Anderson xxvii).
Immediately one of the same problems was found with de Vere as was found with Marlowe.  He died in June of 1604 and ten of Shakespeare’s plays are dated after that (Niederkorn 1).  This, of course, hasn’t deterred Oxfordians[8] because they say that the dating is wrong. “ ‘The Complete Pelican Shakespeare’, edited by Alfred Herbage, . . .[sic] gives date ranges for the plays, placing only two unquestionably after 1604”(Niederkorn 1).  Oxfordians then point out that there is other evidence that the chronology of those two plays is wrong and the original evidence for the time of arrangement is wrong. This pseudo-evidence would then make it possible for de Vere to have written the complete works; just rewrite history and pick and choose sources of authority.
More evidence of de Vere’s life is supposedly uncovered in the Bible that belongs to the Oxford family, and said to be Edward de Vere’s. There are several passages marked in his Bible that are referenced in Shakespeare’s works. Dr. Roger A. Stritmatter, says in an appendix, that when he started to study works on “Shakespeare’s biblical references” that “one by one, I began to tick off a growing list of verses marked in the de Vere Bible which these scholars had identified as influential on Shakespeare” (Niederkorn 3).
As for the Bible evidence, many people of that time could have had the same verses marked in their Bibles. Ironically, Isaac Asimov stated that, “So important are Shakespeare’s works that only the Bible can compare with them in their influence upon our language and thought” (Asimov xi). Indeed, the Bible has been influential on many individuals, possibly including Shakespeare, Oxford and Bacon. It is even possible that the Bible influenced Marlowe’s problem with Christianity.
The problem with all the evidence supporting the usurpers of Shakespeare is that it is circumstantial.  Much of the information is inferred through someone’s interpretation of various events or instances in the life of each man compared with events written about in the canon.  Any attempt to prove who the author was by the content of the plays only leads one down a slippery slope. That Francis Bacon is seen as a Prospero type character does not establish that he wrote Shakespeare. Otherwise, one could argue that a teenage girl resembles Juliet, and as such a teenage girl must have written the canon.  The only thing that evidence proves is that Shakespeare’s plays showed an amazing ability to inspire and portray the human condition but left no hard facts within the work itself.  Absolute historical documentation that Bacon, Marlowe or de Vere was Shakespeare does not exist. 
Documentation, however, does prove that two of the authorship candidates, Marlowe and de Vere, died before all the plays had been written.  As for Bacon and the ciphers, they are decidedly irrelevant. Firstly, Shakespeare and Bacon did not invent that particularly long word in which the supposed key to the cipher was found; Shakespeare just made it famous.  Secondly, one can find many ‘hidden’ messages in elongated words. In any event, the main problem with Francis Bacon’s candidacy is that it is based on opinion and not authenticated facts. Moreover, if the main problem with Shakespeare of Stratford is that he does not fit the image of a genius; then neither does Bacon, Marlowe or de Vere.  It would seem that if any of these three men were the author and genius, a way would have been found to definitively ensure that they got credit for their magnum opus and not leave it to be credited to the son of a glover.  The facts supporting anyone other than William Shakespeare as author have been found to be lacking.
Notwithstanding this lack of support, some suggest that the authorship question should be taught in schools. But, without a smoking gun proving undeniably that Shakespeare was not the author, nothing needs to change.  The only reward is more questions and no solid answers.  Moreover, it appears that nothing has changed. Derek Jacobi, and others who doubt the authorship have not stopped performing, teaching, or enjoying Shakespeare’s work. The conjecture has only been a distraction from what can be learned about humanity in the oeuvre of Shakespeare.  None of the speculation has detracted from the beauty and the power of the language of the playwright known as The Bard. 
The fact is Shakespeare is the most supremely famous and celebrated playwright ever. In the end, a rose by any other name would smell as sweet or does it? The Oregon Bacon Festival, Oregon Marlowe Festival, or perhaps the Edward de Vere Festival might be good names for a theater company. No, none of those have the same ring as the Oregon Shakespeare Festival. It appears evident that Shakespeare or, at the very least, his contemporaries wanted the author of the canon to be known as William Shakespeare or there would be another name on the works. 
            The names Francis Bacon, Christopher Marlowe and Edward de Vere are all attached to very interesting men and are inexorably linked to many luminaries who doubt the authorship. Despite this, William Shakespeare of Stratford upon Avon is still Shakespeare and will continue to be.  A realization that writings of Shakespeare’s time were not always autobiographical would do wonders in squelching the claims of doubters. His works still inspire and influence all of humanity especially those of a lower station. In my own life, I have been able to understand myself better psychologically in studying Shakespeare and found inspiration in his works.  So, finally to Shakespeare; thanks for making things interesting and inspiring the imagination and even a controversy or two.


[1] An actor in Shakespeare’s time.
[2] The Globe was a theatre in London in which Shakespeare worked.
[3] All thirty seven of William Shakespeare’s plays are referred to as the canon.
[4] This was when the authorship controversy first began.
[5]  Delia Bacon bears no relation to Sir Francis Bacon but was a schoolteacher, poet and professional lecturer, who also influenced other notable figures such as Helen Keller and Mark Twain (McMichael 63) (Shapiro 110).
[6] A cipher is a “system of secret writing” (Webster’s 127).
[7] The title of ‘Marlovians’ is given to those who support Marlowe as Shakespeare.
[8] Those who support Edward de Vere as Shakespeare.

Works Consulted
Anderson, Mark. Shakespeare by Another Name: The Life of Edward De Vere, Earl of Oxford, the Man Who Was Shakespeare. New York: Gotham, 2005. Print.
Asimov, Isaac. Asimov's Guide to Shakespeare. First ed. Vol. 1. New York: Doubleday & Company, Inc., 1970. xi-xii. 2 vols. Print.
Barber, Rosalind. "Shakespeare Authorship Doubt in 1593." Critical Survey 21.2 (2009): 83-110.Academic Search Premier. EBSCO. Web. 17 May 2011.
Beckman, Katharine. "About Us-Folger Shakespeare Library." Folger Shakespeare Library. 04 Mar. 2005. Web. 16 May 2011. <http://www.folger.edu/template.cfm?cid=2881>.
Bennett, H.S., A.C. Bradley, R. David, H Granville-Barker, and C.S. Lewis. Studies in Shakespeare. First ed. London: Oxford University Press, 1964. Print.
Bloom, Harold. Shakespeare: The Invention of the Human. New York: Riverhead Books, 1998. Print.
Durning-Lawrence, Edwin, and Francis Bacon. "10-11." Bacon Is Shakespeare: Together with a Reprint of Bacon's Promus of Formularies and Elegancies. London: John McBride, 1910. 84-143. Print.
 Friedman, William Frederick., and Elizabeth S. Friedman. 1962. The Shakespearean Ciphers Examined. Cambridge University Press, 1957. 106-12. Print.
Frye, Northrop. Northrop Frye on Shakespeare. United States: Yale University Press, 1986. Print.
Greenblatt, Stephen. Will in the World: How Shakespeare Became Shakespeare. New York: W.W. Norton, 2004. Print.
Huey, Steve. "Milli Vanilli." AllMusic. All Media Guide, LLC, n.d. Web. 28 May 2011. <http://www.allmusic.com/artist/milli-vanilli-p4917/biography>.
In Search of Shakespeare. By Michael Wood. Dir. Sally Thomas. Perf. Michael Wood. MayaVision International and PBS, 2004. DVD.
McMichael, George L., and Edgar M. Glenn. Shakespeare and His Rivals; a Casebook on the Authorship Controversy. New York: Odyssey, 1962. Print.
Niederkorn, William S. "Theater; A Historic Whodunit: If Shakespeare Didn't, Who Did?" The New York Times 10 Feb. 2002. The New York Times. Web. 12 Apr. 2011. <http://www.nytimes.com/2002/02/10/theater/theater-a-historic-whodunit-if-shakespeare-didn-t-who-did.html>.
Osfashland.org. Oregon Shakespeare Festival, n.d. Web. 10 May 2011. <http://www.osfashland.org/about/>.
Schoenbaum, S. (Samuel). Shakespeare's Lives. Oxford: Clarendon, 1991. Print.
Shahan, John M. "List of Notable Signatories | Shakespeare Authorship Coalition at DoubtAboutWill.org." Doubt About Will. Shakespeare Authorship Coalition, Apr. 2007. Web. 16 May 2011. <http://doubtaboutwill.org/signatories>.
Shapiro, James S. Contested Will: Who Wrote Shakespeare? New York: Simon & Schuster, 2010. Print.
The Muppet Show: Season One. Episode 7. Dir. Jim Henson. Perf. Jim Henson, Frank Oz. Buena Vista Home Entertainment, 2005. DVD.
Wilson, Richard. "Our Bending Author": Shakespeare Takes a Bow." Shakespeare Studies 36. (2008): 67-79. Academic Search Premier. EBSCO. Web. 17 May 2011.
Winchcombe, George, and Bernard Winchcombe. Shakespeare's Ghost-writer(s), Esher (Surrey): Dr. M. Lancet, 1968. Print.

Monday, October 17, 2011

Mommy Monday- Happiness Amid Misery

Wow, I don't know what I was thinking, but trying to blog on a Monday has proved to be the most difficult.  Add to that blogging about being a mom and that just doubles the problem.  So, I think the next four weeks on Monday, I will post a story about one of my kids.  This is a paper I wrote in my first Writing class, two years ago involving J1:



Happiness Amid Misery

The walls were a cold, blank white.  The room was quiet except for the whir and occasional beep of a machine. The lights were dimmed for the comfort of the little inhabitants of this place. He was encased in a plastic box with a lid like a bread box.  Wires ran from all the essential parts of his body. A tiny hand clenched my finger, making me feel as if I were a giantess.  As I lifted him from his clear case that eerily resembled Snow White’s coffin, I felt a jolt pierce through my heart. How was it that such a small thing could elicit such a strong emotion from me?  My firstborn son snuggled into the crook of my arm and happiness was mine.

Across the room a loud burst of beeping machines heralded an emergency. Nurses bolted into the room, followed by frantic doctors.  A tiny life was slipping away.  Time seemed to slow down.  My heart thudded in my chest in agony for the little child and its parents.  The alarms seemed to speed up and the doctor’s movements quickened. Suddenly, there was silence. The air was thick with grief. Here in the NICU  misery and happiness were companions and distanced by mere feet.
Eric Wiener says, “’Misery serves a purpose’ says psychologist David Myers. He’s right. Misery alerts us to dangers. It’s what spurs our imagination” (323). Statements like that infuriate me. Specifically, the last part really gets my goat. Misery serves many purposes, the least important being my imagination.   Most of those who have experienced true misery rightfully avoid it like the plague. Some like Eric Wiener, witness misery and try to minimize it by claiming it as a sort of Muse.  I do agree that it does alert us to dangers, but more importantly it can help us recognize and appreciate happiness.  Have you ever noticed that those who have experienced tragedy and misery and ‘escaped’ are some of the wisest and dare I say happy people you’ve ever heard of or met? Mother Teresa, for one, comes to mind. Do I think you have to have misery to experience happiness? No. I do, however, feel that to really appreciate happiness and embrace it, you need to be able to have something to contrast it against.  I’m not saying that you should go and seek out opportunities to experience misery; life will provide its own without any help.
My trip to the NICU that day taught me many things about life, especially relating to misery and happiness. Firstly, that happiness and misery in life can be a literal heartbeat away.  I may have forgotten that moment of happiness with my son, if it had not been etched into my memory because of the tragic event of that day. Even though I did not know that infant or its family, I was able to witness the misery and then truly be grateful and happy for the moment I did have with my son. Secondly, I learned that a tiny, helpless newborn can instantly change your views on the world, but more importantly that all life is precious, no matter how short.  In turn, small moments of happiness, no matter how short are precious and should be acknowledged as such. For me, tallying up all the tiny moments of happiness in a day does wonders for my overall happiness and contentment with my life. I will always be grateful to the unnamed newborn that lost its life that day. That little baby taught me that each microsecond matters. So for me, that life, though cut short, helped me unlock the keys to happiness in my own life.

Today I am faced with the mortality of my firstborn son, once again.  He is now ten years old and has recently begun experiencing debilitating abdominal pain and has been rapidly losing weight. The most likely culprit seems to be something that could eventually kill him if left unchecked. Luckily, we have access to a great doctor and medical facility in Portland. Unfortunately, at this time, we do not have a definitive diagnosis. We will soon face another blank white room and hopefully discover what if anything we can do to cure him. Misery will be there again caused by the waiting and the agony over the unknown and things I cannot change. Surprisingly, at times like these, all the tiny moments of joy come flooding back: a hug here, a little kiss there.  Like a mini movie in my head I think about the times he met each of his siblings, the first time he scored a goal in a soccer game, each of his birthdays, the first time he learned to ride a bike and his unforgettable performance as Tom Turkey in second grade. All these moments, though lasting just a short time individually, have already added up to a lifetime of joy.  So, I know that happiness will be there too, because right now, I have a son who knows he is loved and that makes all the difference. 



Works Cited

Weiner, Eric (2009). The Geography of Bliss. New York: Twelve.

Update: J1 still has an unofficial diagnosis of IBD but is on medication. He does great as long as he remembers his medicine.  Those huge blue pills are a constant reminder of his and my own mortality. I hope to use this reminder to be courageous in how I live my life.  I hope you can find the courage to be happy in yours.